You know those nights, where it feels like random thoughts about life and the future never seem to end? I detest those nights, especially if I do not have a day off of work. I have to work a 4-10pm shift at my job which is not that bad… but I love and cherish my sleep.
Sometimes, writing will help clear my thoughts. At the moment, I am thinking about my hubby and how we are going to get everything sorted to start the green card process in January. I am hoping that we have enough proof as possible, and that I do not mess anything up on the form I have to fill in. I also hope that he gets in green card in time for my Uncle’s wedding. It would suck if he did not get it by that time, because I know that he would have to fly back to England to wait for it. Thankfully, the wedding is not ‘til September. However, it can take a person six months to a year to be approved (if the spouse petitioning for the immigrant is a US citizen.) For once, I guess I am grateful for being a citizen.
I just want this distance to end. I really miss my hubby, and I want him physically here… permanently.
It sucks being sick. First of all, I had to find coverage for my shift at work. Luckily, I did find some. If I didn’t, I would most likely have to go in. Secondly, my throat feels like it has been stabbed with a thousand daggers, so it hurts to talk. Looks like it is tea drinking time, and other methods to ease my throat.
And… lastly? It reminds me of when my hubby would take care of me, whenever I was sick on one of our visits. Oh, being sick happened… it happened when I went to England for the holidays, and it happened on our very first visit. I love the way how he takes care of me. It shows me that he really cares for me, and that is also love to me. I also remember taking care of him when he was sick, also during my visit for the holidays in England. We were both sick then, and took care of each other, which was lovely.
Whenever my SO gets sick long distance, I cannot help but wish I was there to take care of him, to cook for him, and make sure that he gets enough rest to feel better the next day. I would love to give him cuddles, and even kisses.
There is a saying that goes, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Now, I like this saying. In a way, I do think that this saying holds some truth for it. When in a LDR, I find myself missing my husband (then again, I always miss him, when apart from him) and appreciating that relationship so much more.
LDRs are not east, not by a long shot. They require a lot of work, and effort. I mean, there is communication, trying to find other ways to spend time together when each is miles apart, as well as trying to resolve disagreements while being in a LDR. Sometimes, I believe it takes a strong person to be in a Long Distance Relationship. That person has to be able to cope with being apart from a loved one for a certain amount of time, before getting back together again. A person has to be able to schedule visits, and even sometimes schedule times for voice chatting with the partner.
The main goal of a Long Distance Relationship, would be to eventually close the distance. After all, I do not think anyone wants to stay in a LDR forever.
Hopefully, my husband and I will be closing the distance sometime in the summer of next year. Until then, we stick to our routine with Skype, playing games together, and streaming movies/tv shows together.
When I first fell in love, it was a wonderful feeling. It was something new, and exciting for me, and somewhat of a mystery. I loved the feeling of butterflies in my stomach, feeling excited every time he calls, or sends me a message over Skype… sometimes, I still do have those feelings.
What does it mean to love someone? To me, it means loving everything about him… his perfections and imperfections, his past, the way he expresses himself, his experiences, being interested in the stories that he shares with me, being there for him through both the good and the bad times in life. I believe that love can be one of the strongest feelings in the world. It has the ability to cause a person great joy, and great pain. It has the ability to make a person feel compassionate, kind, and caring.
I love my husband. Sometimes I love him so much, that it hurts. Of course, it hurts being away from him, but I still have a bit of hope that we will be together, one day. I can never imagine leaving him, or falling out of love with him. That seems crazy for me to comprehend.
I wish I could show my husband just how much he really means to me. It would be easier to express that kind of love in person. than on Skype, or webcam. I guess I will have to get creative with that, somehow.
Well, my trip is over and now I am back in PA. I hate coming back, after spending about five weeks with my husband. It feels so odd not waking up to see his face, and not having someone to kiss or cuddle with… sometimes distance really does suck, but I know that we will be together again one day.
It was heartbreaking to leave him at the airport. It was hard to break apart from him to go through security… I don’t think I have ever cried so much on the way back to America. My heat just feels empty, like a big part of it is missing. I know I have to be strong for the both of us, and stay positive, but sometimes the distance just hurts so much. I just want it to be over, so we can permanently be together, and not have to worry about visits back and forth. I do not want to have to worry about the next time I will be able to see him again.
Already, we are both trying to look for cheap plane tickets so he can come over here for Dec or Jan. I hope I see him again soon, and hope that I do not have to wait ‘til September to see him.
Oh well, at least we came to an agreement about applying for his green card to live in the USA, if we cannot get any plane tickets for December or January. That is what keeps me going. The green card thing does give me a lot of hope… I already have the form saved on my computer. Now, I am just waiting to fill it, and to sent it out.
So, I am currently in London with my hubby, watching YouTube videos with him, and you know what? Life is great. I am happy to be together with my husband once again. I feel like I am content where I am, happy, and calm.
London has been great, as always. My hubby and I have been pretty busy, going about around the city, sunbathing on The Common, and we even went out of London to Brighton Pier, which was a fun time. We even got to visit lovely Camden again! Well, that’s my thoughts for the day.
I am sitting here, listening to The Renaissance Festival Podcast. I am now starting to realise just how much that I enjoy the music that is played at renaissance faires. It also introduced me to a folk rock band called Blackmore’s Night, with Ritchie Blackmore as the guitarist, and his wife, Candice Night as the lead singer. I need to get their albums when I have the money again. Also, I need to find more music that is similar to Blackmore’s Night music. If anybody knows anything similar, feel free to let me know!